Celebrate the wins

Jimmy told me this yesterday.

After texting about a nice afternoon seeing a movie with the girls. It was a successfull afternoon, despite running late (I felt), and the drenching rain, we made it to the mall, still dry, and early. The girls actually watched the full movie (we saw Monsters University!) and we stopped for some gourmet chocolate afterwards downstairs. We came home and they both took three hour naps.

Celebrate the wins.

We've had a hard week. It's been stressful and making us feel downright beat down. Like it will never end.

Today, Jimmy went to get an estimate on the bodywork needed on our Escape. Caused by that damn tree branch. Our insurance estimate offered barely any help because of a high deductible. Boo. But after today's estimate we were hopeful. The main piece needing replacement (it's all cosmetic) is doable.

Then, an unexpected check in the mail from our mortgage company: an overage in our escrow. Enough to cover the work needed and then-some. In addition, our monthly payment will be lower because of the escrow decrease.

Then an email from Gabby's school confirming her placement at our preferred campus.

Celebrate the wins.

Then I made some pretty awesome chocolate cupcakes.

I woke up this morning dreading my day. What else can go wrong? But clearly, I woke up looking the wrong way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have another a chocolate cupcake. :)

Rain cloud

Do you ever feel like you've got one of those cartoony black rain clouds hanging over your head? It just follows you around, pouring on you, a little lightening here and there. Sometimes the rain will let up a little and you think, oh! This is what relief is like... Then it thunders and laughs at you and you're drenched once more.

This is our life lately. It's one thing after another. And maybe it's just part of every day living, and homeownership, and being an adult. But I'm having a hard time adjusting.

One car dies, then another. Repair bills build up, the cost of buying a new one builds up. The oven goes out, the vacuum and lawnmower die. Then, today, a damn tree branch nearly the length of our house falls ON our house... and the new car. Holes in the roof, dents in the car, messed up porch and gable. *sigh*

WTF life??

Pray for me y'all, cause I don't know how much more of this I can take.Or at the very least, put down the damn voodoo doll.

tonight

Dear self:

Ten years from now when your girls are sneaking out and speaking a language you don't understand; six months from now when you just can't handle one more second of being Mommy alone because your husband works to allow you to be home; one week from now when you're bone tired and sweaty from a long day at the zoo with a two and three year old; tomorrow night when they just won't go to sleep: please look back at tonight.

Tonight, when you laid in bed with your two babies to help them go to sleep. You rubbed your first's back until she drifted off. And your second looked up at you, smiling in the blue night-light light, and stroked your cheek. And you felt so overcome with love - for them and from them.

Please look back at tonight. Remember their faces, their soft baby skin, the smell of their breath and hair, and the way they want nothing more than to be near you. Remember how you cried thinking of how fast it's all slipping away. The monotony of day-to-day life, but already they speak in full paragraphs and second languages, and soon... will they even need you? Cherish it, momma. Please.

Remember tonight, laying in bed, and holding them both.