Six weeks

Six weeks.

Gabrielle starts school... In six weeks.

Excuse me while I hyperventilate for a second here.

There's a lot to accomplish in the next few weeks. I haven't bought her uniforms yet. Or any new school shoes. She has no lunchbox or backpack or nap mat. No school supplies of any sort.

We're still working on potty training. :-/

Only six weeks left that my first girl will be home with me. That she will be all mine. She's only ever spent a few hours away from me at a time. She's only ever been away a full night once (while I was in the hospital, after delivering Genevieve).

Now my buddy is leaving me, for 7.5 hours, Monday through Friday. Someone else will be instilling knowledge in her. She will learn from other adults, other children. She will grow.

And all I want to do is sit here and cry about it. She will undoubtedly be one of the youngest in her class - she turns three the day before her first day. I'm scared for her.

Don't get me wrong, I realize this is a choice, an option. She doesn't HAVE to go to pre-k 3. But the opportunity was upon us and we took it. Her admission to the French immersion school guarantees admission for Genevieve as well. And we couldn't guarantee Gabby would get in (via the lottery system) next year, so we jumped at this opportunity. But it's leaving me very sad right now.

I know it will be good for her, and for Genna, and for me. And I know there are plenty of holidays so she'll still have lots of days with me and her little sister. But I still worry that we're pushing her too fast.

She's still a baby.

And as conflicted as I am at times about wanting her to start just to give me a break (any stay-at-home-parent knows what I mean), I know we'll still send her. And I've got to enjoy these last few weeks as much as I can.

They grow too fast and I cannot even think about how she will be three in less than six weeks. Where did these years go?

Now excuse me again while I go look at her baby pictures and cry into my coffee.