Six months later

Aaand and I'm blogging again. :)

It's summer. My oldest will be starting kindergarten in August. And my youngest will start a two-day-a-week mom's day out program.  I cannot express how amazed I am at how fast time has passed. They were *babies* yesterday. 

I'm hoping to enjoy this summer even more than last. After a full 9.5 months of routine and bedtimes and morning and afternoon commutes. Making lunches and forcing breakfasts. Snack days and the evening rush-rush-rush. I want to embrace this summer.  Especially if it means I will be sending my littlest little on to school as well come fall. 

We're only two days in, so it's been easy thus far. One laid back-wake up late day, another with a visit to a play place. 

Genevieve is beyond excited to have Gabrielle home everyday.  My poor kid - I've obviously bored her to tears up until now.  The main reason I'm happy to send her to the two-day-a-week program. She needs the play and structure and socialization that I just can't offer by myself. 

Otherwise, we are looking forward to our first family vacation this summer.  We're headed to Pensacola Beach with family later in June. I cannot tell you how excited I am. We haven't been to PB since 2008, and then it was only because we were evacuating due to a hurricane. I miss the sand and sun. The lack of schedule and work. The family time. The water.  And I am so happy to allow our girls to experience it this year. 

I want to write more. But this has become a long post and I'll have to gather my thoughts and try a few themed posts in the coming weeks. 

I'm glad to be back - even it it's only to document my journey with my littles. 

January 3rd

In an attempt to blog more...

I took the girls to see a movie today. We did this over the summer and it was a fantastic success. All of my well intentioned plans in my head of keeping us active over Gabby's two week winter break have fallen to the wayside. Between bad weather, or my own obligations, or any of us being sick - we've done very little. I have, however enjoyed the fact that I have not put gas in my car for two weeks. 

Win. 

But last night I promised Gabby we would do something, anything, today. Not that the coolness of the Christmas toys has worn off yet, but they needed to be OUT.  I didn't realize it was going to be 34 degrees when I woke up this morning. Ugh. 

So we saw Frozen. Easily the best movie I've seen in a long time. But I like musicals. And Disney.  I told Jimmy it was better than any of the live action films I've seen in a while. I keep humming the songs and I want to get the girls Anna and Elsa dolls. 

Back to the kids - they enjoyed it. They actually watched the movie. We then escaped the warmth of the theater and went to the park. In the freezing cold. 

Ok it was like 45 degrees. But good lord, we were all frozen. 

Ha. 

We fed the ducks. I panicked when Genna went too close to the edge of the pond. We swung, and went down slides. We came home and drank hot chocolate.

Dinner was mostly done when we got home (sometimes I embrace the crockpot). It was an easy evening tonight. No rushing, no begging or pleading. Gabby asked to go to bed. That never happens. Never. 

After story time and our bedtime chat, they both easily fell asleep. I feel like a good mom tonight. 

I know everyone has those days - where you feel like an utter failure. But I am just happy to say that today - it was easy. It's a re-energizing feeling. 

I can handle tomorrow. 

Missing Elf!

First, let's ignore my lack of posting the last few months.  Moving on!

Ya'll - it's November 30th, and I can't find our elf.  Our ELF.  You know, our version of the Elf on the Shelf tradition.  It's 7:00pm and despite my threats over the last couple of weeks about our elf showing up on December 1st, I've got nothing.

Last year, I shopped early, I found a girl fairy doll on clearance at Target.  I sewed her a jacket and leg warmers and even a HAT, and voila - we had our own unique elf.  We named her Ella.



I was a lazy Elf mom, I'll admit.  She did a few things, she hid sometimes, but mostly she just moved around and sat serenely in different places around the living room.

I really wanted to get into it this year.  I really did.  I actually have marshmallows on hand this year.  I have books she can present to them as gifts.  I have IDEAS this year.

I'm seriously contemplating heading out to Target or (omg am I crazy?) Walmart (**shudder**) and buying a blasted real Elf.  Ugh.  Then I'll have to come up with some reason why she looks different this year.

Cross your fingers, ya'll, that Ella is just hiding on ME this year.

Lately

What's been going on around here lately? I'll admit I'm not great at blogging frequently, and it's probably easier to see what we're up to by following me on Instagram. But here's a little summary of life on this side of the fence.

Summer vacation is over. I was counting down the days for two reasons: 1) a three year old who seems to do better with scheduled events, with busy days, with the socialization school offers, was driving me nuts. Ha. 2) I was terrified. School starting back meant my first born is another year older. And sometimes I don't know if I can handle that.

I realize that's part of being a parent. Watching her grow and become her own person. I marvel at it, then I cry because I can't hold her in one arm anymore. She doesn't fall asleep on my chest anymore. That baby sweet breath? Yeah that's gone. I'm struggling.

Lately it's been hitting home how fast these girls are growing. Their play habits, conversations. I hold on to what I can. Still want to sleep in our bed? Ok. Sure I wake up cranky and with a stiff back or neck because c'mon how are four people supposed to actually fit in a queen sized bed??! But I give in every.single.night. Because, I can't let go.

And I'll say it again - I'm struggling to get through this.

And good lord, do I have the mom guilt! Dropping her at school, I wonder every day: am I doing the right thing? I remind myself over and over that I can't teach her what she is learning; that I am doing what I always said I would - give her better than I had. But I'm still just a mom and she's still just my baby and it's hard.

So. School started: pre-k4 this year. More French for us all.

Look at this face!

Another nine months of commuting some 60 miles a day back and forth to school and home, then back again. That's exhausting, friends, I won't lie. I dream of moving closer, but it's only dreaming. One day... One day.

Until then, I'm embracing learning my way around "my" city. A city I really do love, despite all its shortfalls. A city I don't even reside in, but that I relate to so much more. I'll try new parks and playgrounds with the girls.

Is it sad that I've lived here 90% of my life (and all of my adulthood) and today was the first time I went into Audubon park?

I want to explore City Park next, but I'm terrified. I've only ventured to those places close enough that I can still see my car. I'm afraid I'll go in and lose my way. No, really, you don't know how glad I am to have GPS on my phone - I'll surely be using it. Hell, I've used it just to find my way back to my car after parking for a parade in Metairie. No sense of direction here, y'all. None.

So we're getting back into routine. Early mornings and nights for the girls and me.

I feel like I've bad a busy week and introvert Stephanie needs a break. I need to recharge. Socialization doesn't come easy for me. I'm breathing each day and enjoying the quiet at home - and the chance to nap(!!!!) in the middle of the day.

It's funny how I'm actually happy the school year has started so I can see and talk to other adults (other than the husband :-P) everyday. But I also need my chances to breathe and refuel regularly.

I forced myself out of my comfort zone last week and went to this Mom's Night Out event. And seriously: it was pretty awesome. I was afraid to go alone, afraid to park in the city alone... but I did ok. I parked legally, my car was still there and not broken into, I didn't get lost even once - and didn't even need GPS (what what??!!). I even surprised myself, because I had fun. :-P

It's been a while... obviously.

I stole that pic from Myndee's blog (proof I was there! Lol) - you should read her, she's totally cool and has even been featured on Scary Mommy (um, hello!). Oh yeah and this happened (via NOMB's Facebook page). I did not tag myself in that photo... :-P

The next day, I had a baby shower to attend. Then the next day, the girls and I met up with Myndee to check out a new play place, and that afternoon we had Gabby's school orientation (where I hung out a little longer to catch up with some other moms and help decorate the school for the first day).

By the time Tuesday came, I was beat, and with a head cold on top of it all. When MIL called to invite us to dinner, I gladly declined and let Jimmy take the girls on his own. I enjoyed nearly three hours of quiet and watching whatever I wanted on TV. I mean - I was totally sick and that sucked, but I was granted that refueling I needed.

Tomorrow is day three of our first week back on a schedule. And thank god it's Friday. I will sooooo sleep in Saturday morning. And I know my little introverted Gabby is feeling the same way. She's asked several times, "how many more days until I can stay home?" *tear*

So yeah...

Let's wrap up this ridiculously long post (that was all done from my iPhone - gah!!). Sleep is calling.

And if you read through this novel? Thanks for keeping up with my wandering brain tonight.

Celebrate the wins

Jimmy told me this yesterday.

After texting about a nice afternoon seeing a movie with the girls. It was a successfull afternoon, despite running late (I felt), and the drenching rain, we made it to the mall, still dry, and early. The girls actually watched the full movie (we saw Monsters University!) and we stopped for some gourmet chocolate afterwards downstairs. We came home and they both took three hour naps.

Celebrate the wins.

We've had a hard week. It's been stressful and making us feel downright beat down. Like it will never end.

Today, Jimmy went to get an estimate on the bodywork needed on our Escape. Caused by that damn tree branch. Our insurance estimate offered barely any help because of a high deductible. Boo. But after today's estimate we were hopeful. The main piece needing replacement (it's all cosmetic) is doable.

Then, an unexpected check in the mail from our mortgage company: an overage in our escrow. Enough to cover the work needed and then-some. In addition, our monthly payment will be lower because of the escrow decrease.

Then an email from Gabby's school confirming her placement at our preferred campus.

Celebrate the wins.

Then I made some pretty awesome chocolate cupcakes.

I woke up this morning dreading my day. What else can go wrong? But clearly, I woke up looking the wrong way.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have another a chocolate cupcake. :)